• Dante Jones

How important is sex in a relationship?

We often equate happiness with sex. If a couple is very happy, we sometimes think, oh they must be getting it in. It’s a natural assumption that happy couples have sex more often than their miserable counterparts. When we notice someone or a couple acting a certain way. We sometimes make the same assumptions. They, he/she must not be getting any, or its not any good because they are acting beyond usual. If you are that miserable just stay home.

If sex is important then sexual compatibility must be important as well. “Psychology Today” offers this definition: It’s the extent to which a couple perceives they share sexual beliefs, preferences, desires, and needs with their partner. Another form of sexual compatibility is the extent to which similarities exist between actual turn ons and turn offs for each person. So in laymen’s terms you have to be on the same page, with the definition of sex, frequency and duration of desired sex, preferred “environment” for sex, turn ons and turn offs, and relationship orientation. The more similarities you have the more compatible you will be. I think a lot of people make the mistake of framing their sex lives around what their partner wants and needs, instead of what they want and need. Some people won’t own that for themselves, but it’s important to say, “I do want this to be different, and here’s how I want it to be different, because sexual compatibility is important to me.” If you and your partner’s sexual desires are different, I would suggests you both voice what you want and why, and see about meeting in the middle. “Work it out. Talk about it. Define what you both need.”

That is, if you truly want compatibility.

How Does Sex Affect a Relationship? Does sex strengthen a relationship?

So let’s consider just what it is about sex that makes it so beneficial to a couple’s relationship? A study was done in 2017 that points to the surprising role not of the sex itself, but of the affection that accompanies sexuality between partners. Their studies were able to pinpoint the way that everyday kissing, hugging, and touch between partners contributes uniquely to relationship satisfaction and overall well-being. The closeness created and experienced during monogamous sex strengthens emotional connection, bond, and commitment. It maintains a healthy level of intimacy, love, and belonging, which people need naturally. Sex can strengthen a relationship by maintaining that special magic, that spark. Intimacy in the form of sex also establishes and strengthens a support network, namely your partner. People who have a good support network tend to be able to form meaningful relationships and manage stress better.

Basically, the less stressed you are, the happier and more content your state of mind. For one, orgasm triggers the release of the hormone prolactin. While its main function benefits lactation, it also promotes good sleep and relaxation. And, a well-rested body is more capable of sustaining physical and social relationships. Sex is also a stress management technique. It reduces the secretion of the fight or flight hormones, cortisol and adrenaline, which both create physiological stress responses like exhaustion and increased blood pressure. The brain also releases endorphins or feel-good chemicals during sex. These enhance mood and reduce feelings of loneliness and irritability. Another chemical is released with further sexual stimulation. It's called oxytocin, and it creates a sense of satisfaction and calmness.

Sex-happiness relationships causes a positive effect. Simply said its causality, cause and effect.

What do you think? I would love to get your opinion on the subject.

disclaimer / These are the opinions of Dante Jones. Some information was provided by Psychology Today, Health line. Man Repeller.com. Picture by Vinícius Vieira.

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